We spend so much time in our heads that we forget to live our lives. And guess what? You are probably doing it right now and don't even notice you're doing it. Let me paint you a picture; you might be pleasantly surprised!
From birth until age eight, our lives are filled with events that mold and shape who we become. During these years, we learn quickly, absorbing everything—some good, some not so good. This period involves rapid cognitive, social, emotional, and physical development due to significant brain and neurological growth.
During these formative years, we learn the core beliefs that we carry into our lives. These beliefs shape how we behave in different situations and what we do or avoid based on the beliefs we accept or adopt as truth from those around us. These core beliefs are not just from our parents; they come from everyone around us.
From age eighteen to twenty-eight, we carry these beliefs into the most important decade of our lives. These years are so important because we are making decisions based on those beliefs that will shape our future lives. During these years, our lives are most likely to go off track due to our choices.
Everyone reading this has different beliefs and viewpoints because no two people are alike. We all see the world differently based on our upbringing; it's neither good nor bad—it's simply the truth.
For this article, I will use myself and the self-limiting beliefs I developed over my lifetime. Full disclaimer: I am not sharing these for sympathy but in hopes that my being open in this article might help you in your personal development journey.
We all have saboteurs in life—those voices in our heads that generate negative emotions when dealing with everyday challenges. These saboteurs are automatic patterns in your mind dictating how to think, feel, and respond. They can cause stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness.
I won't delve into the backstories of why my saboteurs exist, but here are some of mine: "People are out to get me!" "I'm not smart enough!" "Life is hard!" "I can't do that; people will judge me!" "I'm not good enough!"
Looking at me from the outside, you probably don't see these traits; those closest to me will tell you they don't. However, these saboteurs are what I fight with all the time, especially when life gets tough.
For instance, when someone does something nice for me, my saboteur kicks in, saying, "Careful, Paul, they must want something from you." This activates my guard, and I begin to question them, often not accepting the gift. I've judged and questioned this person's intentions because I allowed my saboteur to take over.
Paul, get out of your head and into your life.
I tell myself I'm ready to go full-in on a project because it feels rewarding and helpful. Then, one thing goes wrong, or someone gives me negative feedback, and my saboteur says, "See, told you, you're not smart enough." So, I quit, moved on to something else, and made excuses for why it wasn't my fault or why I couldn't do it. Here I am, giving up on something I felt passionate about because of a setback or negative feedback.
Paul, get out of your head and into your life.
Those are just a few examples of how my saboteurs impact my life. How do your saboteurs affect your life? If you say you don't have any, there's your first one—welcome to your life.
How do you overcome your saboteurs? I'm so glad you asked.
First, start by identifying what they are. Find a quiet place with no distractions and ask yourself what "SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS" you hold to be true about yourself. Write them down.
Once you have them on paper, ask yourself why you believe each one to be true. Understanding why you think it is will help expose the hidden beliefs, patterns, and lies behind each one. By doing this, you can create the profile of your internal saboteur.
Think of it like a mug shot of your saboteur; calmly notice it, be curious, and be willing to learn more about it. Say, I see you "Insert Saboteur here," over time, you can diminish its credibility and power over your mind when it shows up. When you learn to catch your saboteur, it feels incredible and powerful.
If you're still struggling to find a saboteur, try asking a few family members or friends (at most five people) to describe you with one verb (character trait). Take each word and ask yourself if you believe it. Then, look at the ones you don't believe to be true about you for whatever reason. One of your saboteurs could be one of those words or hiding in the "why" behind the ones you don't believe.
This process is not overnight; it takes time, so give yourself grace. Some of your saboteurs have been with you for years, consciously or unconsciously. I want you all to know you're capable of more than you know or believe.
I will leave you with one question: Is there a better time than now to get out of your head and into your life?
Thank you for your time; I know you can never get it back.
Be your best,
Paul
@zup2u
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